About 9:45 last night, Taylor and Callie remembered they were supposed to create Anti-Bullying posters for their school hallways because October is Anti-Bullying Month. They were fortunate the “broom closet” held a few pieces of poster board! Living 25 miles from the big city and it being that late at night were two strikes against their last-minute options. Through all the anxious moments of trying to figure out what they were going to do and what was going to be written on the posters, I had to ask the question, “What is the Anti-Bullying movement all about?” Taylor says, “Look it up. You’ll find all kinds of stuff about it”. So I did.
” Bullying is the most common form of violence in schools(verbally and physically) – One incident of bullying every seven minutes; – It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school everyday due to the fear of attack or intimidation by other students – 2 out of 3 teens are verbally or physically harassed every year. – 58% of teens have had hurtful things said to them online and over 40% say it’s happened more than once.” (DoSomething.org)
I found a website designed specifically for teens – PACER Center’s Teens Against Bullying – featuring Demi Lovato and her testimony about being bullied in middle school. It was so bad for her, she chose to leave school and be home schooled. Teens should be able to relate to her and what she has to say. Demi’s a great example of someone who’s looked up to by so many young people and being a positive influence for them.
There was a recent story about a 16 year old girl who had been elected to her Homecoming Court – as a joke. She allowed them to tear her down to the point of contemplating suicide. She received the much-needed encouragement and support of others and turned it into something positive. While listening and watching Whitney Kropp explain what happened to her, I couldn’t help but wonder why in the world she was being bullied. What an AMAZING young woman with so much courage! Once she got the backing of her community and other students, you can visibly see the confidence she gained from this tragic circumstance. Take time to read her story and watch the video…you won’t be disappointed!
It’s not only children who suffer being bullied. I ran across a video about Jennifer Livingston, a La Cross, WI newswoman, who was bullied by a viewer due to her weight. Someone actually took the time to sit down and let her know what he thought about her size and her being on TV. This, too, turned on the bully and created a positive outreach to others going through the same thing.
After doing what Taylor said, “look it up”, and seeing the few examples of the most recent bullying stories in the news, it made me wonder why do people feel the need to bully? I found an interesting story written by Jessica Marshall dated April 1, 2010:
“The simple reason is it shows that they have power over others,” agreed Marlene Snyder, Development Director for the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program in the United States, based in Clemson, S.C. “The reason that they do it repeatedly is that they are getting away with it. Nobody is calling them on their bad behavior. When they aren’t called on it they think, ‘Well, it must be O.K.'”
This power brings popularity and high social status for bullies, Bradshaw said. “But they’re also perceived as disliked.
Evidence has shown that bullies often suffer from social and emotional problems, she added. At the same time, “one of the big myths is that bullies bully because they feel bad about themselves,” Snyder said. “The research consistently shows that they have average or above average self-esteem.
“It’s not just a conflict,” she said. “In a conflict the kids are of equal power. They are still supported by their friends. It’s important to understand that bullying is abuse.”
I think this sort of reinforces what I’ve always told my girls, “Hurting people hurt people”. Bullying has been around forever. I remember being made fun of in school. I remember other kids being pushed around and made fun of, too. I believe the negative words and actions do work against a person’s self-worth and confidence; however, the words and actions can only be allowed to affect the one being bullied if they allow it. Having a support system is a must! The support system needs to be there to help you remember that you’re as strong as you want to be! The support system needs to help you with positive words that will counteract the negative. What happens to you because of the words is up to you. Every action has a consequence – either a good one or a bad one. A person has the option to allow the words to negatively affect you or to turn it into something positive like Demi, Whitney, and Jennifer have. I hope that if you’re being bullied, you will stand up to the one being a bully and let them truly know that, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will NEVER hurt me!” Don’t allow the bully to win! You and what you have to offer this world is by far so much more important to the rest of us! You DO have a reason and a purpose for being here at this very moment!
