Tag Archives: children

checking things off my list

by Nebraska Wheatie

Yes, we have started fall harvest. Up to today, though, Jim guessed only about 5% of the crop has been harvested in our area.

It was two weeks ago today that I crawled off the combine (I’ve been hired to drive a New Holland combine for a neighbor). I haven’t been back since. I was just sort of feeling like I was getting it. I’ve never picked corn or cut soybeans. Ever! I may have crawled in the seat for a little while way back when to help Jim while he got a truck moved or something. But to say I’ve had experience with corn or soybeans? Nope!

Picking corn is a whole different animal than cutting wheat. You have to line the combine up with rows, know how the field was planted with terraces and watch to make sure you’re on the right row. It’s not mindless cutting like wheat is. There’s not much forgiveness. If you’re off a row, the entire plan is off. And…I’m TRYING to do a good job for the farmer that hired me. The expectations I have on myself are great.

We had an amazing amount of time off due to rain (3+”) and SNOW ( 4″). Jim got back in the field today. I will be back tomorrow afternoon. The entire central part of the United States has been unable to harvest due to the amount of wet stuff we’ve had. With the cooler temps, it takes a whole lot more time to dry the grain and the ground than when we have rain delays in the summer.

So…what have I been up to the last two weeks, you ask? Even if you really don’t care, I’m about to fill you in. Continue reading →

returning to “normal”

by Nebraska Wheatie

One week ago yesterday, we began the final journey home.

Our first trip – Pete/the “job” trailer and Frank/the header trailer – began two weeks ago today.

So, within the past two weeks, we’ve traveled nearly 3,000 miles getting equipment moved back home. The same road gets a bit weary and I often think about the over-the-road truckers and how monotonous their days must get.

Once the final turn is made and the trucks are shut off, the reality of what’s next sets in. And it doesn’t take long for the harvest mode mentality to disappear. In fact, it all feels like a dream now. A bit of a post-harvest “hangover” or depression sets in. I can’t explain why it happens or even why it does what it does but unless I get busy right away, it can feel pretty rough.

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it’s been 22 years

by Nebraska Wheatie

I don’t remember the exact day it happened.

Twenty-two years ago my world came crashing down – for the third time – while in Jordan, Montana.

While we were cutting wheat near Hutchinson, Kansas, I found out we were expecting baby number four. I hadn’t been feeling quite right and suspected that maybe I was pregnant. Maybe. But I wasn’t sick like I had been with the other three. I mean really sick. Sick like hyperemesis sick. Like not being able to quit puking sick.

So I visited the local clinic to be checked out.

“Could you be pregnant?”, they asked. I said, “I guess it’s a possibility.”

I was told to call the clinic back later that day and they would give me the result. Positive. Now…how in the world am I going to tell Jim I’m pregnant? Guess just tell him. 🙂

I never did get as sick as I had been with the others. Maybe that should have been my first clue? I was so excited about my growing belly and the fact that I could continue to take care of my family and “crew” (all of one additional guy) without having to feel like I was going to die.

It’s been long enough ago I’ve forgotten all the details. But what I will never forget is what I was doing the very instant I knew something was wrong. I was attempting to lift a five gallon water jug in the trailer house. We have to buy our water while we’re in Jordan. You don’t want to drink this extra salty, mineral-filled water.

It was a sickening, numbing feeling that instantly hit me. I thought…maybe if I just stop what I’m doing and sit down or lay down it will all go away. I still think about this particular day every time I lift one of those blue five gallon water jugs.

I called Dan the local PA. He told me to come to the clinic immediately and then sent me to Miles City for an ultrasound. I could tell by the look on the face of the gal doing the test that something wasn’t right. But she couldn’t say anything. The doctor confirmed the worst. There was no heartbeat. I immediately felt like I was going to be sick.

It wasn’t immediate but I eventually went into “labor”. I was 13 weeks along. Dan took care of me the entire time I was in the Jordan hospital. Things were different then. And I often think about the baby I lost that year – especially when we pull back into town. I remember feeling like I would never be the same. I would never be able to get over what had just happened. I remember walking the streets of the town late at night trying to understand why this had to happen. Especially so far away from home.

The people of this community were amazing! Dan came to our trailer house several times to check on me. Where else does the doctor make a “house visit” anymore? Or call to see how things are going? People brought food for our little harvest crew until I could get back on my feet. I was blessed to have had this happen where it did. I just didn’t know it at the time.

I find myself thinking about this more so today because of the premature birth of a dear friend’s baby. I had prayed for a miracle for her. She was only 20 weeks pregnant. But there was hope through others who shared their stories of delivering babies this young and they survived. Unfortunately, Henry wasn’t going to grow up here on earth. God had other plans for him. So, as I think about Emma and the emotions she’s going through tonight, it made me think about my own loss. I had two other miscarriages before the last one in Jordan. Each one never easier than the previous one.

I used to remember the due dates. I don’t anymore. All I can remember is that there were three – two between Jenna and Taylor and one between Taylor and Callie. I used to notice pregnant women more than usual. I don’t anymore. I used to wonder if they were boys or girls. I know that one day I will be reunited with them in heaven. They will be waiting for me to arrive and then I will be able to hold them in my arms.

I’ve told Taylor and Callie they must have very important purposes on this earth. If I had carried those babies to term, I would not have had either Taylor or Callie. And, I can’t imagine life without either one of them.

You see, I believe God has a plan for each one of us. And sometimes that plan includes the death of a baby. Doesn’t seem right at all. How could a loving God allow such a thing? He knows. He has the plan, not us. How can we question what He knows? So much doesn’t make sense, but I fully believe that one day it will.

All of this leads up to my final thought. Why do we women feel it so necessary to keep a miscarriage or the loss of a baby quiet? Why is it so important that we don’t tell anyone we’re pregnant until we’re in the second trimester? I understand everyone thinks differently. However, due to the losses I experienced, it would have been much easier to have gone through it with the help of others.

I didn’t tell anyone.

I didn’t think I was supposed to. Was it because I thought others would look at me with questions? Was it taboo to let others know that you were pregnant and now you’re not? I don’t know. I’ve thought about it all so much over the years. When I went through the heartache of miscarriage, there was nothing about it anywhere. Nothing to help the grieving mom and dad understand why it happened. I was so hungry for information to learn about the reason why. There was no google or internet to refer to.

Was it something I did? Was there something wrong with me? Why did I miscarry these babies? What caused this to happen? So many unanswered questions.

If I could give a bit of advice, it would be this…don’t deny yourself the love and care of others. The time you could use support, prayers, sympathy and care is during the moment of loss. Let the world know you’re pregnant right away. If the pregnancy ends with a miscarriage or the death of your baby, you will have the love and support of people who can help carry you through the difficult times. By keeping your pregnancy a secret, you also keep the pain of a loss a secret. That’s so very difficult to get through on your own. Believe me, I know. Being able to talk to someone – anyone – who would listen and would allow me to talk was the best therapy I had.

If you know of someone who is having to go through the loss of a baby, please don’t be afraid to ask them about it. They need you. They need to know you will listen and try to understand.  The pain of losing their baby is no different than dealing with the death of any loved one. It hurts and it takes an awful lot of time to work through the pain. Be there for them – in any way you can.

Time does lessen the pain but the heartache never really goes away – even after 22 years.

 

the question of the day…when are you leaving?

by Nebraska Wheatie

Celebrated Jenna last Friday night with a surprise 30th birthday party. Her sisters did a fabulous job of keeping the secret!

Seems I just need to start writing. Beware…you won’t know what you’re about to read until you get to the end.

“When are you leaving?”

Good question. And it’s the #1 question most people seem to think to ask me when they see me. My reply? It varies. How much do you really want to know? Is it just a brief question in passing? Seems the most common one goes something like this, “Good question.” Then, depending on the look on their face (whether or not they’re happy with that answer or I sense further questioning) depends on what additional information I provide.

It’s sort of like this. Last summer was a tough one. When it was finally over, we had the hope that 2018 would be better. Just a little better would be better. Right? It would be. Well, 2018 is setting up to be even more of a challenge (right now) than last year.

Harvesters are already experiencing the dreaded phone call from their farmers in the southern country.

Wheat acres are still lower than they have been since records began being kept in 1919. However, I recently read the number of acres planted for 2018 are 3% higher than last summer. That’s good, right? It seems Mother Nature is trying to weed even more out. Maybe just to make the harvesters concerned about how everything is going to fall into place? Guess what, she’s doing a pretty darn good job! Between the severe drought in the south, the late freezes (also in the south) and the late spring conditions in the North, 2018 is setting up for a shipwreck.

I hope not.

Our bank account hopes not.

Our lifestyle hopes not.

Jim’s blood pressure hopes not.

But, as I’ve explained to you many times before…when there’s no acres to cut…there’s no income for the harvester.

Why do we do it? Another good question. Just about as good as the one EVERYONE asks me, “What’s your favorite part of being a custom harvester?” Every time it’s asked, I struggle. So, these two questions can/should go hand-in-hand! Oh wait…let’s not forget the first one I mentioned. So, that’s three very good questions.

Easter Day – the only members of the Hermesch crew to join the rest of the family. The rest of them were home sick. They’ve had one heck of a winter with sickness!

Maybe everyone asks those same three questions because they honestly want to know. OR because they’re trying to figure out why in the world we have chosen this as our job. OR maybe both. I always try to tell them the positives – hoping they will outweigh the negatives.

We haven’t received “the call”…yet. Unless Jim’s not sharing. But I’m pretty certain he would fill me in. A lot of acres are being “zeroed” out in the Texas panhandle, Oklahoma, Western Kansas and Eastern Colorado. No rain. Nothing for months and months. Some places exceeding 200+ days without measurable rainfall. Not very much can struggle to live (let alone just exist) without a drink for very long before it just quits. Except weeds.

Another result of the lack of rain is the lack of severe weather. To be specific, tornadoes. I just heard both Kansas and Oklahoma had no severe weather during the month of April. I believe I heard the last time that happened was in 1980. The first thing I think about when I hear that year (besides it being the year I graduated from high school) is the June 3, 1980 tornado outbreak in Grand Island.  Now, as I’m typing this, we are under a tornado watch (meaning conditions are favorable for something to happen). Sort of exciting. But, I’m hoping if something happens, it’s after I’ve returned kids home safely from the track meet I’ve been sitting at all day.

Am I rambling? I hope it doesn’t read that way because it feels that way to me.

Lincoln Children’s Zoo – celebrated Eli’s 5th birthday there.

Happy birthday, Eli!!!

So, as I mentioned, acres are being zeroed out. What does this mean? To a harvester, it means nothing to do. No work. No income. For a farmer, it means his/her crop is basically dead. Everything that went into that crop will have a zero ROI (return of investment). The insurance company will zero it out when there is no hope of it being harvested. The most recent report from Ron Hays with the Oklahoma Farm Report states:

Among the worries of the crop scouts across the state were the many acres that will not be harvested for wheat this year- many of those will be grazed out or have zero forage and will be zeroed out by crop adjusters. In southern Oklahoma- there are thousands of acres that continue to be shifted to cotton and in north central Oklahoma- there is significant freeze damage.

What will we do if we have nothing to head to Texas for? I guess stay home? I mean, if there’s nothing worthwhile to justify the expense of moving equipment that far away, why would we do that? It’s all so up in the air right now. What about Kansas? Who knows. Probably nothing to do beyond Kansas. A strong possibility could be Montana. They’ve had a tremendous amount of moisture over the winter. BUT they’re also at least a month behind in getting their spring crops planted. What a mess! Could it get any worse? That’s what we were asking last summer.

When two worlds collide – brought the welding class to Grand Island to tour the CNH plant and Hornady.

So, back to the original question, “When are you leaving?” I just have to shrug my shoulders because I honestly have no idea. I’m sort of believing this is going to be a summer of complete faith in God’s plan. Nothing we thought we had planned is panning out right now. So, I’m going to go with His knowing what’s ahead for us.

In the meantime, I will continue to drive the bus when needed, spend time with Eli, Nora and Ben when I can, get together with the girls when their schedules allow and just wonder what the day is going to bring…until I know that it’s time to begin packing the “cottage on wheels”. Am I concerned? Absolutely! Who wouldn’t be? Our entire livelihood exists on what work we can do with the equipment we’ve invested in for the last 36 years.  But, God has provided every year and I’m expecting to see some amazing things handled again this year!

So…hang onto your hats – it’s gonna be a wild ride!

the final month of 2017

by Nebraska Wheatie

To be honest with you, I’d much rather be in sunny Anaheim, California today. It’s Commodity Classic week and seeing a lot of my social media “tribe” in one location and not being there makes me feel like I wasn’t invited to the party. 🙂 But, you know, if you don’t farm, you’re not involved with an organization, not part of Ag media or selling anything a farmer would want, why would you be there? For the best reason, I guess…to see friends…to reconnect. So, I’m hoping everyone has a great time in sunny California while I’m left here to deal with foggy, cold Nebraska. (Sense my sarcasm?)

So, December rolled around. And so did some of the coldest temps we’ve seen in quite a long time. We had -20 on New Year’s Eve. And Jim agreed to go out. I’m certain it was only because we had already made plans with friends. And these friends only live about three miles from us but we don’t do anything together but once a year – on New Year’s Eve.

So, let’s start at the beginning and work our way through the month.

We celebrated Miss Nora’s third birthday with a Barbie cake, lots and lots of pink and one pretty excited little girl!

This was taken on her actual birthday.

On Nora’s birthday, we kidnapped Eli and took him to the Nebraska Power Farming Show – the 2nd largest indoor Ag show in the US. We had great fun climbing in and on and around and through every piece of equipment possible. Eli truly was in heaven.

Beginning the day of fun!

About ten days later, we escaped for a few days and hung out with awesome friends (Bruce & Leigh Krumbach) in Kansas City. Our excuse was to do a little “antiquing”. We had so much fun! We got to hang out with friends, eat out and stay in a hotel. Something the kids always loved doing.

We really didn’t plan dressing alike that morning!

If you haven’t visited Union Station in December, you really should. It was absolutely beautiful!

Do you know how hard it was not to start laughing? I was trying so very hard to keep a solemn look!

This is what it’s all about…lifelong friendships!

And now we’re getting closer to Christmas. I had the little kids come over on Jamie’s birthday (the 23rd) so she and Curt could go out and celebrate. They spent the night…under the Christmas tree. The next day, the bigger kids (Brooklyn and Jillian) came over to help us decorate Christmas cookies.

We turned a large box into a “house”. They claimed they were going to take their naps inside… yeah right. 

Making Christmas gifts for Mom, the Aunties and Grandma Sandy.

The gang was all together for the annual cookie decoration day (Christmas Eve).

 And then it was Christmas.

Our house is so small when everyone shows up. BUT…it’s full and it’s loud and it’s chaotic and I absolutely love having everyone home!

One of my lucky “finds” in Kansas City. Eli was going through quite the cowboy stage at this time.  

The house got a little bit fuller in the evening when Mark, Candi, Brooklyn and Jillian came over for supper and more presents to unwrap. We all decided, again, to bypass getting gifts for everyone and instead spending the money on a family vacation. We’ll be spending a week together the middle of March in Florida. Can’t wait to wake up to the kids every day for a week. Something we used to do every day and didn’t even think about years ago. Now, it’s a treat!

Oldest and youngest. 

The gang!

Jamie sent me this picture of Eli one day after Christmas. What a kid!

And that’s it for 2017. Another year come and gone and now we’re well into 2018. Jamie just made a comment today, “You’ll be leaving for the summer before we know it”. Yep, it seems once February is over, spring comes pretty quickly. I know we’re all ready for the warmer weather and getting outside again. The day I’ll have to tell everyone goodbye, though, comes all too quickly now.

 

 

 

#vegasboundwheaties adventure continues

by Nebraska Wheatie

We had a nine-day window of time before Callie and I had to be back to Vegas to pick up the Nebraska Wheat Growers’ Mobile Baking Lab from the convention center.

In that time frame, we celebrated Taylor’s 23rd birthday and I made a brief trip to the corn field for an afternoon.

Happy birthday, Taylor

Callie and Taylor

Happy birthday Taylor

Celebrating in style! Jenna, Callie & Taylor

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TATE, TEE TEE, DEET, TATOR BUG…TAYLOR!

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memories of another lifetime

by Nebraska Wheatie

Another lifetime

I did something tonight that I don’t usually do (unless I’m sick). I was actually laying on the couch, wrapped up to my chin with a fleece blanket. We’ve been cold and snowy here in Eastern Nebraska much longer than I really care to be. Once my body gets cold it takes blankets and/or a hot bath to really feel warm again. Tonight, I was hoping the blanket would do the trick. I guess that’s why I was on the couch.

The TV was on (more so for noise) and Jim was sitting in his chair looking at his phone. I thought about this particular scene as I looked at the carpet on the floor. My thoughts immediately went from the current moment to remembering what the floor looked like when we first moved in, which led to the carpet, which led to the chaos and craziness of this particular area of the house, which led to the quietness of the house, which led to why I’m writing.

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more than one way to skin a cat

by Nebraska Wheatie

Oh my goodness! Why oh why do I put something off until it becomes a chore? I have no idea why it’s been so difficult for me to sit down and write. Maybe it’s some sort of writer’s block? I went through my pictures yesterday and decided today was the day to make it happen. Have you ever put something off so long you just wished it would go away – only it doesn’t? Today I have decided there was more than one way to skin a cat. What in the world am I talking about? I hope you know I would never really try to skin a cat. I know a couple of people (who are world-famous trappers) who DO KNOW what it’s like to skin a cat. Okay…now, I’m getting off subject.

Another reason I’ve sort of backed away from writing (I think) is the overwhelming amount of information that comes through social media about how I SHOULD be writing a blog. And how it’s SUPPOSED to be done. And how I’m doing it all WRONG. I admit, I began reading some of the information, hoping to learn more, only to end up even more overwhelmed. After feeling like a complete loser, I decided I was doing it just as it was INTENDED it when started. I wasn’t out to win the #1 spot on the Google search engine. I’m not making bazillions of dollars – not even one – so I shouldn’t feel the need to compete in any way with anyone. I don’t need to have a post go viral (although it would be fun to think I wrote well enough others liked it that much). I just want to write. To share my story and my journey through this crazy thing called life. If it helps someone somewhere along the way, perfect! No more worries about doing it wrong!

So, the last update I wrote about (a harvester’s widow), I was spending my days doing whatever I could while getting used to being home…by myself. How long ago was that? I just looked – it was October 28. A lot of things have occurred since that day. And because of recent events that have made me more aware of how important pictures and memories are, I have decided I have just got to do this. Staring at the closed computer every day wasn’t going to make anything just go away.

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a harvester’s widow

by Nebraska Wheatie

I have become a harvester’s widow.

Jim’s been the sole fall harvester since we started this business. That means he’s been the only one in the soybean and corn crops for the past 30 years. And this year is no different. There was some talk that I may be needed to run grain cart because they are one man short. If you remember, the day Ben was born, we also lost our fall customer and dear friend, Russell. Apparently, his son-in-laws have it under control better than they expected before the harvest actually got started because I’ve not been asked. Russell would be very proud of them! However, I was sort of hoping I would finally be involved but with this cold snap…maybe not so much.

So, while Jim has been doing the fall harvest, I’ve been the one left at home doing what needs to be done here. Until the past two years, a lot of my time has been involved with the girls’ schedules. Not so much anymore. So, the days tend to get long. I have been able to unload and clean the inside and outside of the trailer house with very little interruption. I have all but one small flower garden to clean out before the snow flies and I still have the house to thoroughly clean of cobwebs. Jim usually leaves the house about 7:30 am and most nights doesn’t get home until 9:30. Long days – much like the wheat harvest.

I’ve had a couple of fun outings with Eli and Nora. It’s probably a good thing they don’t live any closer than they do. We may not get anything done…ever!

Our first outing was a spur of the moment occurrence. It was one of those beautiful Fall days where it didn’t even feel like Fall. It was one of those “let’s make her think it’s going to be summer forever” type of days.

Whenever we go anywhere, we have to have Jamie put the car seats in the van. I almost hate to suggest going anywhere simply because I know just how much work it is to transfer those seats from one vehicle to the other. It’s not like it was when my girls were little. Holy cow! So simple back then (and they survived)!!! Improvements usually mean more work. Anyways, I headed over to the H’s house and had Jamie install these pieces of engineering genius in the van. Jamie had their bag filled with snacks, jackets and anything and everything we could possibly need. I’ll have to give that girl credit…she’s prepared!

Once loaded, I decided we needed to head towards the walking bridge (that used to be a railroad bridge) that goes over the Platte River. You can walk from one shore of the river to the next. I will have to confess, though, I worried about just letting the kids head out on their own at first. But, once I surveyed the amount of space between the fence and the cement bridge, there was no way a body could just fall through it and land in the river. So, they were OFF!

It was about here where I was making sure a little body couldn’t just slip through any sort of opening. Even though I knew they couldn’t, I couldn’t convince the uneasy feelings I had of that while watching them stand there. 

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it was the best surprise!

by Nebraska Wheatie

It was just a week ago yesterday they surprised us.

Taylor and Callie were coming to visit over the Labor Day weekend. We knew that. And I had suggested bringing Eli with them but I was told there were reasons why it just wasn’t going to work.

As it turned out, the proso millet wasn’t quite ready to be harvested. It needed a few more days so we were told we wouldn’t be working over the weekend. It would have to wait until Monday. I told Taylor and Callie this and they were a little bummed. I think they were both hoping to experience the combine, the truck and being in the field again. Something they took for granted when they tagged along with us every summer. This was the second summer they had been away from the routine. I wasn’t worried about finding something to do. I thought, if nothing else, maybe just us girls could make a trip into the mountains. I knew it would be hard to get Jim back into the hills after we’d just toured the Montana mountains.

The plan (or so I thought) was for the two of them to leave after Taylor got off work on Friday afternoon. They would be here either late that night or spend the night in a hotel. I encouraged the latter. I know how hard it is to get through those last couple hundred miles before you get here. And even worse when it gets so late. It was about 11:00 on Friday morning when Taylor called. She said she had gotten to take off work earlier than expected and they were just about ready to leave home. I told her to let us know how the trip was going and to be careful. “Oh, and when you get to Limon, would you stop at the grocery store (if it’s open) and pick up some peaches. They are REALLY good this summer!” She said she would.

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